Q&A: Is the use of semicolons in this sentence correct?
Question by Now or Never: Is the use of semicolons in this sentence correct?
He looked over at Jay; who was still fast asleep; snoring quietly; his nose pressed up against his pillow.
Its just that if I try to replace any with a comma the sentence doesn’t seem to flow right.
Cheers
I know the sentence looks wrong lol but so does it with commas or and’s…
Im writing a book you see lol
Best answer:
Answer by Kiki
I like your sentence, i think you may have to many semicolons though, other than that, its a very funny sentence. Good job!
Semicolons are as strong as a period and used to connect two short, related, independent clauses (sentences). So you might consider this rework….
He looked over at Jay, who was still fast asleep and snoring quietly with his nose pressed up against his pillow.
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If you want to omit the “and”, try:
He looked over at Jay — still fast asleep, snoring quietly, with his nose pressed up against his pillow.
Other than that, I’m tapped — good luck!
Use commas instead.
He looked over a Jay, who was still fast asleep, snoring quietly, his nose pressed up against his pillows.
You don’t need any punctuation after Jay. Use commas after asleep, and quietly.
The semicolon is used to combine two independent clauses that are closely related. Examples:
I don’t dislike spinach; I hate it. He’s a good boy; he just got in with the wrong crowd.
I could tell he was asleep; he was snoring.
Keep it simple:
I think all you need to make the sentence scan is to set off your clause with commas and add the word with. Changed his to a because it was one too many his.
He looked over at Jay, who was still fast asleep, snoring quietly with his nose pressed up against a pillow.